🚨 CLASSIFIED — GUHNZU WHALE UNIVERSITY — DO NOT SHOW TO CUSTOMER — RE-EDUCATION IN PROGRESS 🚨

DEPARTMENT OF WHALE COMPLIANCE

🐋 GUHNZU WHALE UNIVERSITY 🎓

Where Brightness Meet Regret Since 1984

📹 LIVE CEO BROADCAST 📹

● LIVE (maybe)
👨‍💼

Connecting to Mr. Guhnzu...

Stream quality: 144p | Audio: Screaming | Latency: 3 weeks

🏅 EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH 🏅

💡

Broken Bulb #47

Achievement: Did not explode factory (this week)

🔦 PROJECTOR BRIGHTNESS SIMULATOR 2000 🔦

Adjust slider to test brightness. Guhnzu not responsible for retina damage.

0 LUMENS

⚠️ WARNING: Above 50 lumen may cause sunburn indoors. Above 80 lumen void warranty AND reality.

🎡 SPIN THE WARRANTY WHEEL 🎡

Every spin is legally binding. Guhnzu lawyers (cousin Wang) approved.

🐋

📝 PROJECTOR OPERATOR EXAM 📝

Question 1 of 1: You turn on Guhnzu projector and room start on fire. What you do?

🖼 CORPORATE MOTIVATION POSTERS 🖼

TEAMWORK:
Blame coworker first
SAFETY FIRST:
Run away second
QUALITY:
Is other company problem
INNOVATION:
Duct tape is technology
CUSTOMER IS KING:
But we are emperor
THINK OUTSIDE BOX:
Box is on fire anyway

⌨️ DISCIPLINARY TYPING EXERCISE ⌨️

Type the following sentence 100% correct to unlock... nothing:

I will not look directly at Guhnzu projector because my eyeball is already cooked.

📋 INCIDENT REPORT FORM 📋

Fill this when something go wrong. Something always go wrong.

📜 EMPLOYEE OATH 📜

I, , solemnly swear to:
☑ Sell projector to people who not need projector
☑ Never admit fault even when fault is on fire
☑ Replace word "warranty" with "good luck"
☑ Worship the three founding whales
☑ Tell customer "have you try turn off and on?" for every problem including death

REMEMBER: If customer complain, customer is wrong. If projector explode, also customer wrong. If whale appear in break room, do not feed. — Management GUHNZU WHALE UNIVERSITY — EMPLOYEE RE-EDUCATION CENTER
🚨 CLASSIFIED — GUHNZU WHALE UNIVERSITY — DO NOT SHOW TO CUSTOMER — RE-EDUCATION IN PROGRESS 🚨

DEPARTMENT OF WHALE COMPLIANCE

🐋 GUHNZU WHALE UNIVERSITY 🎓

Where Brightness Meet Regret Since 1984

📹 LIVE CEO BROADCAST 📹

● LIVE (maybe)
👨‍💼

Connecting to Mr. Guhnzu...

Stream quality: 144p | Audio: Screaming | Latency: 3 weeks

🏅 EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH 🏅

💡

Broken Bulb #47

Achievement: Did not explode factory (this week)

🔦 PROJECTOR BRIGHTNESS SIMULATOR 2000 🔦

Adjust slider to test brightness. Guhnzu not responsible for retina damage.

0 LUMENS

⚠️ WARNING: Above 50 lumen may cause sunburn indoors. Above 80 lumen void warranty AND reality.

🎡 SPIN THE WARRANTY WHEEL 🎡

Every spin is legally binding. Guhnzu lawyers (cousin Wang) approved.

🐋

📝 PROJECTOR OPERATOR EXAM 📝

Question 1 of 1: You turn on Guhnzu projector and room start on fire. What you do?

🖼 CORPORATE MOTIVATION POSTERS 🖼

TEAMWORK:
Blame coworker first
SAFETY FIRST:
Run away second
QUALITY:
Is other company problem
INNOVATION:
Duct tape is technology
CUSTOMER IS KING:
But we are emperor
THINK OUTSIDE BOX:
Box is on fire anyway

⌨️ DISCIPLINARY TYPING EXERCISE ⌨️

Type the following sentence 100% correct to unlock... nothing:

I will not look directly at Guhnzu projector because my eyeball is already cooked.

📋 INCIDENT REPORT FORM 📋

Fill this when something go wrong. Something always go wrong.

📜 EMPLOYEE OATH 📜

I, , solemnly swear to:
☑ Sell projector to people who not need projector
☑ Never admit fault even when fault is on fire
☑ Replace word "warranty" with "good luck"
☑ Worship the three founding whales
☑ Tell customer "have you try turn off and on?" for every problem including death

REMEMBER: If customer complain, customer is wrong. If projector explode, also customer wrong. If whale appear in break room, do not feed. — Management